Paying tribute to the great yushikau_chan - https://bandori.party/activity/44870/join-to-leg-they-need-you//

“It is a tale old as time: Legendary artists will stir the ocean of art, so as to cause wave upon wave of mediocrity; but from the depths shall rise a thing so granditiously mediocre that everyone will die.” - Courage the Cowardly Dog

You leap from your mattress just in time--Leg Mitake descends from the ceiling and smashes her detached guitar neck and fretboard into your mattress, and the entire bed is blown to smithereens.

“Join to leg.” You can hear, over your screaming, that her voice is sprinting right behind you as you scramble down your hallway. With her singular leg she leaps to grab you and catches the back of your shorts. In the ensuing struggle, you shake her off but lose your balance. You tumble down your stairs, breaking your arm in the process.

Between your staggering consciousness and the searing pain, you can hardly keep the standing position you’ve now struggled your way back into. What sounds like planes crashing into each other can be heard from your living room, and as you limp to peek, you see Big Udalegwa beating away at a drum kit. Because she is a head on half a leg, she is too short to reach all the kit pieces, and her singular leg center of gravity causes her to play an uneven tempo on the bass drum.

You are careless and have poked your head out too far. You have been seen.

“Join to leg.” Big Udalegwa comes barreling towards you and springs for your skull, drumsticks brandished. You throw her away and limp out your front door, your failing muscles now replaced with the desperation of seeing tomorrow. Where will you go?

You keep moving under the cover of midnight even without this answer, and it occurs to phone the police. Just as you dial 911, Hii-Leg rolls out of a bush and smashes your ribcage with her bass. Before you know it, you’re seeing stars and can’t seem to find any air to take in, nor any feet to stand on.

It might be delirium, but you can hear a distorted rendition of the keyboard and lead guitar parts of “That Is How I Roll!” nearby. They seem to be getting closer and closer.

“Join to leg,” Five voices tell you in unison.

You try to look up at the swirling galactic expanse one last time. The stars look like heavenly messengers, calling you forth to higher life. The last thing you see is this otherworldly view being blotted out by Hii-Leg’s bass careening towards your face.

Join to leg, they need you.