btw this is a rant don’t bother w/ my problems i just need a place to rant yoooo

ok so i’ve honestly had a pretty bad november and i wanna fucking die

so in school around 6th period a week ago, we had a minimum day(which is a half day, the rest of the day spent on teacher development and shit like that). 6th period is band. yes fucking band. (piece of shit really) OK HEAR ME OUT. BAND(like learning things) is fun, trombone is fun, piano is (going) to be fun, my teacher’s awesome, but my classmates suck and 90% of the time when we could be practicing for an upcoming pep rally, is spent repREMANDING THE FUCKING CLASS(´Д｀)!!!

ok baaaack on topic, minimum days are basically free days. 99.99% of the class pulled out our phones. i was casually playing bandori. i was playing romeo in a free live, and telling my peers about how lesbian bandori really is(specifically kaoru). then, this short(like daaaamn he’s like 3’ 9” but hell im tiny too like 5’ but this is puberty season y’all) boy in my grade cuts into my sentence and literally says to my face:

“you’re a lesbian.”

now i admit i’m a big ass lesbian. but this child don’t know, so i wave it off like it’s nothing. then he said if i ranted about how lesbian bandori is makes me a lesbian. this offended me. he straight up CATAGORIZED ME WITHOUT ANY EVIDENCE W H A T S O E V E R. just because i rant about bandori being lesbian doesn’t mean i am. he then told me that lesbians were wrong. i legit almost cried in front of him. ALMOST. then my good friend confronted him about it but that’s a guy thing how am i supposed to know?

i cried myself to sleep that night. it made me think of these kids who’d bully me just because i’m a lesbian. they’d catogorize me as ‘dirty’ and ‘garbage’ just because of my sexuality? what the fuck? i tried to kill myself that year, and i’m serious. i thought about it once more. i thought that life wasn’t worth it. and maybe i’m right, maybe i’m not. it all depends on how i shape myself.

y’all sorry for this long ass thing but i need someone to rant this to (i will never come out to my homophobic parents and my friends can’t really do anything about it so y’all are my last resort before i lose it).