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June 09, 2019 21:10:10 +0000 (UTC)


if we're talking Pride Month things, hello, it's me, your friendly neighbourhood aro(ace)! I don't particularly care about the ace part and I identify much more with being aro, so it's usually the only thing I mention. but yeah! we have arguably the ugliest flag design (why the greeeeeennnn) but it's still pretty nice to be aro

I actually used to id as bi for a long time; my family's very open-minded and as a child it was just kinda the most logical thing for a person to be to me, even above being straight. in hindsight, it's hard to figure out if my attraction to people just kinda ... faded out (cause sexuality can unfortunately be fluid and make everything even more complicated) or if I was imagining crushes that weren't there ... it's tough to recall what romantic love used to feel like to me, lol. (I'm inclined to believe it was the former tho, otherwise my friend and I went through all those fanfic clichés for nothing--) either way, it's hard to prove the absence of something, but I haven't been able to even force myself to see people in a romantic light in years, and it amazes myself sometimes how certain I am of this. honestly, I thought I'd never stop questioning, but nah, I'm just a tired aro (and my dislike for love stories & songs has grown exponentially with that realisation)

that aside, the fact that sexuality & gender is even a debate is sad to me; it really shouldn't matter unless you wanna date someone. maybe that's why I never really felt like I really belonged in the LGBT community, even when I was smugly identifying with the B part of the acronym. everyone's so loud and proud about it when they can be and I'm just kinda there, watching from afar. and now with [shivers] Ace Discourse being so prevalent, I also don't particularly feel welcomed there in the first place ... really, I just wanna be That One Girl That Doesn't Get Asked If She Has Any Marriage Plans Yet. (please, irl people, stop asking. the only marriage I will possibly consider is with my best friend for tax reasons.) everyone else just do their thing, I guess. as long as everyone's nice to each other, I really could not care less. the fact that Pride and the fight against homo- and transphobia and all its evil cousins is needed in this world really bums me out. I hope that some day, people will just let others live their life and be respectful of everyone who's also respectful back, regardless of things they can't change like these. but people are dumb and mean and hate things they can't understand which also bums me out

I guess the tl;dr of this post is that I exist in this weird void where I'm certainly not straight but also don't really identify with the LGBT community either. but that won't stop me from cheering ny'all on! Pride may be more of a distant thought to me, but it's important for many people, and seeing others be happy and confident with who they are makes me happy too. a lot of my friends are parts of the community much more than I am (over the past few years my peer group just grew less and less straight & cis lol), and I am absolutely ready to Fight any bigots in their name and just in general really. also if you're a TERF we cannot be friends, just to make that clear

okay have a good day!!!