anyway back to arisaposting before i become convinced all my takes are wrong and disappear again
look i had character development on the brain and the baby arisa event. i have more thoughts on it actually
it may be about arisa’s fight with her grandma when she was little but when she makes that big apology it is about So Much more than just that fight. it’s about everything else she’s done. not going to school. simply being the person she was, the person she hated so much she never wanted the world to see it
comparing this event and double rainbow … the difference in self-acceptance … back then she screwed up and pushed everyone away. she wanted to give up on herself before she could be given up on because she saw her mistakes as a reflection of who she was and couldn’t bring herself to reach out and apologise because how could she ever make up for being so intrinsically horrible. popipa would be better off without her. when she did apologise she had to plan it out and make sure the notes she took for rimi were thorough and complete and everything had to be perfect if she could ever hope to earn forgiveness
obviously what she’s apologising for this time is much less immediate but when she finally remembers the fight she just dashes straight home to her grandma and lets out all the guilt and shame she’s held inside all this time because she can face it now. she knows her mistakes don’t define her and she doesn’t need to go above and beyond to atone. she can just be honest and that’s enough. the “maybe it’s too late but i wanted to say it properly. i’m sorry and thank you” ughhh there are so many things she hasn’t been able to say and even now she only talks about the fight because bandori’s writing is infuriating (affectionate), which kinda adds to the bittersweetness of Still not being able to put everything into words. but maybe that’s all that’s needed! her grandma is just thankful she’s able to have fun with her friends now and if arisa tells her about all the fun things she does that’s enough to make grandma happy and. it’s ok for her to be flawed and still be happy and loved!! i’m fine
