oh but of course arisa is getting an essay too. yukina’s writing is really fun to chew over but arisa is my girl y’know. was gonna do art but i got distracted—

can we talk about the way arisa presents herself. how she finds it easier to be honest with people she’s Not as close to because then she’s just being polite and considerate out of social obligation, not because that side of her is real! but it is real and it’s so much easier to express under the guise of fakeness. or with a certain degree of fakeness. then with popipa she plays up the tsun act as a defence mechanism because oh god she wants closeness so much but it terrifies her to be so open and so seen and she thinks she doesn’t deserve it and it’s easier to act like she doesn’t care. things happen when people get close. you’ll let your guard down and be hurt, or you’ll expose the darkest ugliest parts of yourself you’ve tried to compensate for with your High-Achieving Good Girl behaviour your whole life

and yet. people do see her in spite of everything. yeah she’s bad at lying and gets flustered easily and it’s a funny bit but it’s not only that. all the social correctness and denials and people still know who she is because she is many things and all of them are her, even when she tries to hide. her honest feelings shine through in her actions more than her words but at the same time the pretences are as much a part of her as the rest. the idea of your true self being not so clear-cut, that some of the pretending is pretending and some of it is real, and then there are the parts that are real but you exaggerate them to the point it becomes an act … rather than having this “wall” that people have to break down, it’s just a big confused soup of trying to figure out how to interact with the world with the resources you have and it’s what people do constantly and it’s Hard. yeah arisa is cynical but she’s not that cynical. she’s genuinely eager to please but not that eager. she’s so afraid of being not enough and then she’s too much and who are you really, after trying so hard to make yourself bigger and smaller and nothing ever seems to fit just right? you’re still you, whoever that is. and maybe defining it isn’t that important but dear lord is it frustrating when you can’t express yourself the way you want

that one bit from a rhythmic beat: fireworks festival where she goes

... I wonder if we'd have all been together if I hadn't said anything about this spot …

(Or maybe ... if I’d just told them about it normally instead of playing it up as a secret, they would all be here …)

(I was just trying to make them happy ... What's gotten into me ...?)

nitpicking in an attempt to make a point but again the translation of the second line (それか……この場所のこともったいぶらずに、 普通に教えてれば、みんな集まって来られたのか…… -> “Or maybe... if I hadn't been so secretive in the first place, they would all be here…”) seems to leave a bit out so i changed it but i’m not sure about the connotations of もったいぶる so if i’m wrong come after me. i just … her trying to share something important, overshooting and it turning out wrong and why can’t she just do it like a normal person y’know. of course she’s gained a whole lot of confidence now but early arisa just hits different. i think this event is very important. so is hectic happy valentine’s. and double rainbow. and sparkle summer dive. and how to spend a special day. god she makes me feel attacked

also on the subject of side characters not being fleshed out from the yukina post, in arisa’s case it makes sense if the nonexistence of her parents is just Avoidance of Death Mention but y’know what. as much as i enjoy angst there’s something nice about characters just being the way they are and that being ok without focusing on what may or may not have happened to them. yeah i do hc that arisa’s parents are dead and i think about abandonment issues and the importance she places on politeness and academic ability being something she was taught as a kid but still. the lack of all that in canon gives it this kinda … acceptance and non-judgement from the narrative? does that make sense. it’s like, you’re dropped into this story about friendship and love and no matter what sort of life you’ve had, what happened or didn’t happen, what you did or didn’t do, you’re here now and there are people who will accept you the way you are with open arms. you don’t need a justification for being a certain way. bandori’s narrative is generally really sympathetic towards characters’ personal struggles and it feels like the story cheers them on through it all, as the people they are in this present moment

so i mean craft egg absolutely tricked us with the summary of the baby arisa event lmao but at the same time i do think this aspect of the writing is nice in its own way

baby arisa event still good though. features the saga of her not dealing well with broken promises and being hard on herself. like … it’s a throwaway line but if she’s hard on other people breaking promises how does she judge herself for doing the same huh … ahaha … highly recommend subjecting your heart to ayasa’s voice acting in chapter 5 ugh ugh she does not miss