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June 23, 2022 14:45:23 +0000 (UTC)


RuiRin event … with both of them giving up classical competitions at some point the writing could so easily have gone the “kids forced into learning instruments from a young age and subject to high standards and misery before discovering the joy and freedom of being in a band” route but they both love classical music So Much and it makes me happy. Prelude Replay with Rinko’s piano being a means to express herself and this event … I. Rui. Rui I love you. She loves the violin so much and she wants to win so bad she conflates love with skill and recognition because being the best is the ultimate proof of her love … but what does it mean then when she can’t be the best …

I like that her mum isn’t strict and controlling and we don’t really have enough to go on but I’m having Thoughts about parents wanting their kids to do what makes them happy while also very much valuing academic success and associating it with pride and worth. Like comparing you to your classmates in an entirely flattering way and being entirely supportive even when you fail but y’know! You’ve got this and that achievement while other kids are wasting time socialising or whatever! Again I am just thinking but Rui’s mum comforting Rui by reminding her of her perfect test score at school and later on saying that maybe she can leave the violin be because she’s clearly in pain and there are other things she can win at, plus she’s in middle school now and possibly implying that it’s serious study time? I just like the idea of good and loving parents potentially instilling maybe not the most helpful values in their kids. It’s more interesting to me than them being outright terrible which is obviously a thing of course! But anyway there Rui is, putting so much value in winning because how can she love the violin with everything she has when everything she has is tied to tangible results? Results that are lacking? She wants to win and hold that physical representation of her love in her hands—the gold prize she mentions over and over again. That would give it worth. What can mere feelings mean when there’s nothing to show for them?

And of course classical performance standards are high. And yeah maybe it hurts because you’re not good enough and you want to quit but you still love it all the same because it’s music and it slaps. It does! And maybe you’d rather give up and love it without being hurt. Rui broke into my house and disintegrated all my possessions