June 10, 2019 15:25:12 +0000 (UTC)

Tsubame

So, Pride Month, huh? I’m ace, idk what my romantic orientation is—I’ve certainly had crushes on guys but when it comes to actually engaging in romantic acts I just. *insert I would prefer not to meme* Whether it’s because I’m something like akoiromantic or because of how much difficulty I have opening up to people I have no clue, but it gets too complicated so I’m just ace and that’s it. Part of me wishes being touched with any intention other than friendship didn’t make me freeze up/cringe and that I were less awkward with touch in general, but then again the fact that I’m like this was a huge part of what drew me to Arisa “D-Don’t hug me!” Ichigaya so strongly (even though I hc her as a massive disaster lesbian as most people do), so I guess it’s all good, right?

Since I don’t usually talk about this stuff online I’ve been spared from any ace discourse but I’m aware that if I were to call myself a heteroromantic ace I might be accused of being ‘pretty much straight,’ which is not true but honestly whatever, the bottom line is that love comes in many different forms, as do people, and all of them are valid as heck

And that means platonic love is important too! Sure, Pride Month is about romantic love a lot of the time and that’s great but as a romantically confused ace I crave close relationships as much as the next person—and although I am currently dating someone who knows what I’m like, there’s a heckton of compromising involved and I can’t help feeling guilty when I have to say no to things that make me uncomfortable. (Now that I’m here editing this post because as per usual I was self-conscious and trying not to get too personal before, I might as well add that my ex looked me in the eye one day and told me aces didn’t exist, it was just a ‘hormonal imbalance,’ which . . . wasn’t nice to hear.) So the idea of having a queerplatonic partner, a soulmate who loves me in a purely non-romantic way, is kinda the dream, y’know?

Yet romance is always hyped up so much that I’m a hypocrite and sometimes try to do dumb stuff like making myself ship something even if I’m not completely feeling it lmao. Take KanoChisa, for instance. They’re so perfect for each other imo and for the longest time I was torn on whether they were an OTP or a brotp. I really liked the idea of them being something in between, still technically a brotp but I feel the term is considered inherently less important than its romantic counterpart, so like. A brotp, but Intense. I could see them doing the queerplatonic thing but until recently I still tried to ship them because uh. EXCUSE THE ULTERIOR MOTIVE but if I ever wrote a fic for them, I wanted to put it in the tag ok. If I tagged it as Chisato & Kanon it would, again, seem inferior to Chisato/Kanon, like “oh I’m just writing about them as friends.” But I’ve come to a decision! KanoChisa are platonic soulmates to me and that’s how they’ll stay because it feels right and warms my ace heart. They’d still be amazing gfs though

Idk how much of that was related to anything but Happy Pride Month everyone!