fam can we talkk about something. i need a moment

so in being part of this (i think) predominately not-male community that is banpa, and also seeing some very interesting in-game bandori usernames, i have been discovering some things that i dont think i would know about otherwise

one of the biggest things that y'all girls are capable of, that many of us guys lack, is saying the darndest stuff when speaking of someone attractive

y'all on a different wavelength with it. if u know about straightwhiteboystexting then you know the extent of guys' creativity, which y'all handily surpass. step on me yukina. gouge my eyes out kaoru. elbow me in the thorax saya. push me off a bridge tomo-chin. choke me with some pringles chips hagumi. spray me with pesticides marina-san. i just saw pern talking about being ok w/ getting body slammed. one time i added someone in-game and their comment was telling sayo to literally gore them

y'alL gOT ME ROLLING WITH THIS STUFF I SWEAR OK HERES THHE THING. y'all dont even care about trying to spit game or sounding clever / witty with your comments like dudes try to,,. it's just straight up violence and im crakcing up thinking abotu it omg

its crazy fam,, i dont even know how to think anymore. i am bugging!!! ya'll messed me up now. like, if i see a cute girl, i would've normally thought "oh wow what a cool beanwf"

but now im gonna be aware of the fact that, if she finds me attractive, theres a possibility that she like. wants me to grab her, climb a pole and jump off w/ her into a flying double bakc flip suppress ?? or since im tall like, , she might secretly want me to get some 5-inch heels and wlk across her backk/ i try to shake her hand and shes just waiting to get stone cold stunna'd ? y'all are creatively violent at your own expense and this is shocking to my guy mind

i dont kno w what to say. i thought i understood girls p well. i used to think they liked talking and sharing feelings but if we're being honest really y'all just wanna be seismic tossed into a volcano like magmar . between guys and girls' approaches tho, i woudl rather someone tell me to step on them in some high heels as opposed to getting catcalled so,, u ppl keep doing u i just wanna say i appreciate the creativity, i am inspired to step myself up too.

next time a girl compliments my appearance ill say "thanks, and you have mighty arms. you appear as though you could, and in fact, you should, beat me over the head with a fire extinguisher. after first setting me on fire of course"

edit: you guus are killing me in the comments. i feel like im being inducted into a secret girl society , few bois will ever get this privilege. i think im rly learning lady lingo out here,, peep this pick up lines ive developed thanks to y'all

"heu girl. are u a cat? because id like for you to give me a severe pet allergy reaction and cause me to suffocate"

"ayy lil mama. is it getting hot in here, or are you planning to cook me in an industrial oven? melt my flesh "

"what it do booboo. is that a baseball bat in your pocket or are you just gonna beat me to a bloody pulp with your bare hands"

" hahaaaa whats poppin homegirl. im out here looking like a lego block feel me hAAAAaaH u finna step on me OR NAH CHICK"

"did it hurt when u fell from heaven? i hope not. now plesse fall from heaven again but land on my left kneecap so that it ceases to exist in the 3rd dimension"