Right it is time to report on the results of the masterpiece of a culinary survey

First off

• Regarding the pineapple on pizza debate, 'no' beat 'yes' but it was actually pretty close. One person was so horrified that they felt the necessity to append 88 exclamation marks to their no, another said 'the Lord rebuke u'—if this Lord you are referring to is Gordon Ramsay then I accept the rebuke (for the record, I don't particularly like pineapple on pizza but neither do I consider it an abomination so in a way I am guilty)
• There was a three-way tie among people identifying as 'fresh,' 'microwaved' and 'raw,' followed by 'frozen.' To the person who said 'Eaten 500 centuries ago,' I pay my respects. Update: 'individually packaged' kinda scares me . . . how many of you are there and are you still multiplying
• Over half of you are confused ravioli that is so cute ahh. Runner-up was people setting themselves on fire at 33.3% and honestly I relate to both of these
• Some of you who thought Gordon would enjoy Michelle Monakas didn't say the same for choco cornets and I am assuming you picked the first option for the former question solely for my amazing pun
• Garupa Pico MasterChef edition, no surprises there. A third of you thought Lisa's cookies would save the set from destruction though and that is heartening
• I like how absolutely no one thinks Gordon Ramsay would win a shouting match against the Bandori girls. Chisato, Tomoe and Arisa took the prizes in that order. The response about Ran trying to shout but singing high notes instead killed me thank you

The Kitchen Nightmares stories were very entertaining, props to all of you. Some quotes for your amusement:

• Gordon yelling "THIS ISN'T A PLACE FOR FRIENDS!!" at Hagu
• '"wait you mean you're not the talent scout for Chopped?" and there's kind of this awkward silence while Gordon turns to look into the camera'
• 'Ran accidentally drops a chocolate cake on Gordon. He yeets her into the sun.'
• 'kaoru gets destroyed by trying to put a maruchan instant lunch into a microwave'
• 'the beautiful man gallantly strolls into ran's restaurant, which is tellingly called "runny ran's". runny is referring to runny diarrhea. naturally gordon is immediately afflicted with diarrhea as he feels what remnants remain of his soul falling out through his butt cheeks.'

I loved reading about your wholesome experiences—friends, romance, weddings, animals, money, memes—all of them warmed my heart. The people who said they liked the survey or that taking the survey was their wholesome experience are too sweet, thankies. Zyra yours was the cutest thing and I am super awkward with physical contact too so I relate and I'm so glad you found a kindred spirit. And Amarena, I'm really happy for you! I'm a disgrace who never got into Hamilton but I did have a chance to see Lea Salonga sing 'Burn' live and loved it

Now lastly . . .

• To a certain fluffy alpaca, I'm sorry to say it's futile to attempt to evade Gordon Ramsay's grasp. He's probably onto you at this very moment but if it's any consolation I also cannot cook to save my life and we can perish together. It pleased me that you insinuated I might be Gordon Ramsay though, that's the highest compliment anyone can possibly receive
• To a certain itsumodoori flamboyant peacock who first claimed to be Gordon Ramsay, then spelt Gordon's name wrong, then turned around and claimed to be me instead, do you happen to be having an identity crisis because if so that is quite concerning and I advise you to seek help. For your information I do not have a 'crush' on Gordon Ramsay and I feel rather insulted by that accusation. Does one simply have a crush on God? Absolutely not. This is a devotion that runs much deeper, a spiritual path I have sworn never to stray from for the entirety of my fleeting existence. Please learn some respect and refrain from making such childish, profane comments (I love you lmao)

And that will be all, thank you all for your time. BanPa is amazing I'm so glad to be here