Dear Banpa and its community
It may be hard to believe but almost one year ago, March 7th 2019, I was afraid of making a post. There has always been and always will be a part of me that worries about every detail. I was scared of making myself known. The introverted side of me wanted to keep myself hidden. It was telling me that I couldn't make a first post, and it was right. I joined this site to express my love for BanG Dream! but I didn't know how I could do that. It was only because of a miracle 72 point loss on VS Live against someone who had the same PERFECT-GREAT count as me later that night that I did make a post, just a random person randomly posting a random screenshot out of nowhere. I remember closing the website tab on my browser as soon as I posted it. I didn't want to know what happened. The next day, I went onto Banpa and saw notifications. People had liked that post. They may have liked what they saw, found it funny or was just being kind, it didn't matter. It made me want to keep posting. It made me want to be me.
Megggles, Amarena, animebronie596, kaoruskitten, Can_I_join_Hello_Happy_World, Chi, UwUhera (and you as well LollyGurl), thank you for liking that post. Though some of you may have moved on from this site, you remain in my memories. You were a catalyst for the biggest change of my life.
From that point on, I would come onto the site every day, look at new posts every day and try to post every day. Whenever someone liked one of my posts, I would get encouraged to post more. If a post didn't do as well, I would tell myself not to be discouraged and keep going. Sometimes, other posts would make me want to do something myself. Slowly but surely, the posts were changing. They became more... me. I cared less about how posts did and more about what I showed. My own style of typing started to show itself, to represent how I would talk. I became more willing to post different things. It was only somewhat recently when I realised that it wasn't the post that was changing to show me, it was me changing to post the way I wanted to, as me. I had changed. When I look back at myself, one year ago, I wouldn't have me any other way, now or back then.
This isn't a letter addressed to me by me, it's a letter addressed by me to you all. This is the first community I've ever been a part of in my entire life. Being here has pushed the insecure side of me away. It may still exist, but it's a part of who I am. It's because of it that I'm able to write what I feel. It's all because of this site and the people who populate it.
Still, I can't put this past year into words properly. In reality, this 'love letter' would be best saved for March 7th, my anniversary of joining Banpa. But, this is the perfect time to look back on where I've been and how much Banpa means to me. To put it shortly, I've been so much happier ever since I joined this site. I've been more accepting of myself and it's thanks to this site and everyone on here, just like me. I love this site, I love this community and I look forward to the years to come.
"Thank you for making my memories what they are. For the times you've made me smile, laugh and cry. I will treasure this past year with you, on this site called Bandori Party!"
Alex 「Kaiton」☆
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